Why should the evening end?

I never want to go to bed when it is quiet in my house.  Daily life is precious -- my students, my coworkers, my family, my kids; but this time I have tonight is my own.

Lining up Dimes

Dimes have always been appealing to me.  When I was a child, I had a piggy bank for all the rest of my coins, but my dimes had their own special place inside a ceramic box my grandmother had given me.  I enjoyed their small size and studied their ridges.  I would hold a single dime in the palm of my hand and press my fingers firmly against it, noticing how the dime seemed to mold to my skin and eventually took on a warmth of its own.  And I lined them up.  I would make several rows of evenly spaced dimes, imagining a life and personality for each one as I placed it so carefully next to its other family members.  Then I'd lie my chin down on the carpet and study the order I had created.  And I could do it.  I could create this order, and everything about it made sense.  When it was time to return my simple escape to its ceramic box of safe-keeping, I always had a profound sense of dread welded deep to my core.  No, I could not stay on the floor transfixed on my dimes any longer, despite the calmness this cultivated, but I knew it would take time and concentration to recreate this simplicity and structure once again.

I haven't had my dime collection since I was 12 or so, but I recently realized that at times, I am still trying to line up my dimes; striving to arrange aspects of life into the perfect order, only to be dismayed when it is time to sweep up the pieces into their natural complexity.  Without the order derived from exact alignment, it can be difficult to relax.  On the other hand, maintaining that symmetry is exhaustive, and on further review, really has no reason.  How much easier it would be to know that the dimes are spread carefree among all the other coins, and that this is perfectly fine.

Current reality snapshot

Dog yapping
Cat purring
Child calling, "Mommy!"
Classical music from the other room
Body sore, yet relaxed from yoga
House a mess
Paperwork overdue
On top of classroom activities
Connections with people
Eyes met with a smile
Friend needs help
Looking forward to weekend
Seeing an old friend
Running some place new
Calm mind and spirit
Energy renewed
Hold on to this feeling
Solitude and peace
Hold on to this feeling
Even when others are near
Escape to this feeling
Don't escape - embrace

A "hello" to the world

A "hello" to the world.  One can post to the Internet via a blog or whatever else, and speak to everyone, yet no one at the same time.

A Friend Is...

Henry David Thoreau 

     A friend is one who incessantly pays us the compliment of expecting from us all the virtues, and who can appreciate them in us.  

     The friend asks no return but that his friend will religiously accept and wear and not disgrace his apotheosis of him.  They cherish each other's hopes.  They are kind to each other's dreams. 

     That kindness which has so good a reputation elsewhere can least of all consist with this relation, and no such affront can be offered to a friend, as a conscious good-will, a friendliness which is not a necessity of the friend's nature. 

     Friendship is never established as an understood relation.  It is a miracle which requires constant proofs.  It is an exercise of the purest imagination and of the rarest faith.  

     We do not wish for friends to feed and clothe our bodies -- neighbors are kind enough for that -- but to do the life office to our spirit.  For this, few are rich enough, however well disposed they may be ....

     The language of friendship is not words, but meanings.  It is an intelligence above language.  

Last Saturday is ancient times, but the week has moved so quickly.

10/29/2014

Sometimes when I write the date, I wonder if I will look back at what I have written and think about how quickly time has passed.  

Days have been moving so quickly.  Weeks get turned around and before I realize it, the end of the month is here.  Those dates that seemed so far away have arrived -- this trip, that meeting.  I hardly give a thought to time anymore.  There is no use in having anxiety over something in the future or in wishing to relive something from the past.  No need for restless anticipation, being impatient, or counting the days until the work week is over.  Routines will be experienced.  Time is ruthless, makes no attempt at understanding, and heeds no plea for individualized consideration.  The anguished teenager will endure every grueling moment of a broken heart that has, and will continue to, "last forever".  The reunited lovers will yearn for the moment to be never-ending, only to be dismayed at how quickly their time together evaporated before having to once again part ways. 

I am learning to take time in stride.  Be calm.  "Make the most of each moment."  Think about how what I say and do will affect myself and those whose lives I influence.  Accept time and duties that come with it.  Accept the good times and savor the experience without dreading the fact that it will end.  Allow no yearning for time other than the present.  Stay focused on making the best choices in the given moment.  Stay present.  Stay connected.  Establish connections.  Be involved.  Live.  Love.

When it is Wednesday and life has been so busy that Saturday seems like such a long time ago according to my memory, I know that is because I have been living life purposefully.  When it is Friday and I can't believe the week is already gone, I understand how important it is to embrace time for what it truly is.  Time is the moment.  Everything else is past experience the moment has already brought, or future experience the moment has yet to bring. 

What is important in any given moment?  Curiosity; creativity; compassion; understanding; inquisitiveness; an attuned, focused mind capable of making good decisions quickly when needed, and carefully considered decisions when it matters; love; caring; kindness; connectedness; humanity. 

new blog

Don't know if I'll ever update this, but decided to make a blog, mainly so I can try to link my blogging siblings on one page...